Hey, look who still updates his web site every now and then. Sorry for the lack of writing lately. It’s crap like the following story that keep me busy and stressed out enough to neglect things here at the Flap.
This is an actual telephone conversation and the Elementary class that resulted from it.
Sensei: So what do you want to do in class this week?
Me: Well, I was going to ask if there was anything in particular you or the students wanted to do.
Sensei: Oh okay. Well, could we ask to you to do some alphabet review?
Me: Review, yeah okay.
Sensei: There’s also some fun songs that we could sing.
Me: Right so some songs and an alphabet review.
Sensei: And, do you have shiritori in English?
(Shiritori is a game where a student comes and writes a word on the board, and then the next student must come up and write another word that starts with the last letter of the previous word).
Me: You bet. I also know some variations on that, so that should be fun. Kind of like a shiritori tournament.
Sensei: Great! See you Friday then.
Friday in Class
Me: Okay, so I thought we’d start off with the songs you were talking about.
Sensei: Okay. Go ahead.
Me: …… what?
Sensei: Oh, so did you bring some songs?
Me: Nope sure didn’t, that was your bag. Okay, let’s move along. (to students) So, you guys have been studying the alphabet, eh?
(keep in mind I’m saying this while pulling out of my bag, a stack of phun-alphabet-worksheets™ I had just made that morning.)
Me: ……..what? You know some of the alphabet, right?
Students: (in unison, no less) NOT A BIT!!!
Random Student in the Back: We haven’t studied it yet.
Me: …………… <stewing in a nearly-uncontrollable rage>
(At this point, my entire lesson plan is shot. There is 45 minutes of nothing ahead for these poor bastards.)
Sensei: Well, what about shiritori?
Me: How are they going to play shiritori if they don’t know any words, much less the alphabet?
Sensei: Hmmmmmm, good point, huh?
This is the kind of shit I have to deal with when going to Elementary Schools.