Mosquito apocolypse

by Oct 22, 20020 comments

Well, thank God the mosquito plague seems to have finally abated. Now I have to clean the blood splatters off the walls from where I would dispatch rolled-up-newspaper-justice, causing my recently-drank life-nectar to explode from the abdomens of those cursed blood suckers.

It was funny, because my Mom actually called my stance on the whole mosquito-vengance issue saying, and I quote:

“Let me see if I’ve got this straight.  You have a hard time getting rid of one measly spider and yet you have no compunction committing mosquito genocide?”

Fair enough. It’s a good point, and I did feel a little bad about it. Especially after reading this bit on mosquitos from and realizing what adept hunters they are when it comes to scouting out blood. Get this:

As mentioned before, only female mosquitoes bite. They are attracted by several things, including heat (infrared light), light, perspiration, body odor, lactic acid and carbon dioxide.

Holy crap!! Infrared light, lactic acid and carbon dioxide!?!? These things put Predator to shame!! Color me impressed. I kept wondering how, in my huge apartment, they seemed to keep finding and focusing solely on MY GODDAM HEAD!! Now I know.

Anyway, getting back to my Mother’s scathing attack on my vicious behavior, the difference is that spiders, while they creep me out, aren’t out to get me. They don’t interfere with my life and I try to steer clear of theirs and we end up living in some kind of symbiosis (I provide them with a place to chill, they eat bugs in my flat). But the mosquitos were robbing me of sleep, which is essential to my sanity and, as it just so happens, my life. It could even be essential to the life of others if you consider that if I’m really sleep-deprived and Elementary school kids are jumping all over me, I’m eventually going to start chucking them out the nearest window, which is not the best example of Internationalization™ I can think of.

It was me or them, Ma. I hope you can forgive me.

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