IFKumate-sensei comes up to his desk with a box the other day and dumps out an armload of handles. You read that right, handles. Wondering what the hell a pile of rubber handles could possibly be used for, I take the initiative and ask him what he’s up to this time.

He explains to me that they’re for the Track and Field team, to hold in their hands while running. Perhaps obviously, I ask why anyone would ever want to do such a thing. He tells me, “According to the company it allows the runner to focus their energies and run much, much better.”

I conjure up the most incredulous expression my face can manage and say, “Sensei. That seems really dodgy.”

He then grabs a pair, putting them on and saying, “No, for real. See?” and then proceeds to demonstrate how they should be used as this video testimony, taken with my cel phone, shows:

Then in mid-stride he stops, takes them off and looks at them and says, “Yeah, they’re kinda dodgy, huh?”

This site writes itself, I swear to God.

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